In my corner

Day 30

This morning was pretty special.  My trainer won not only Victoria's active Achievers award but the National Award as well. I had written a nomination when I was very unwell with severe symptoms of PTSD. We had a nice morning tea with the presentations and I was filmed and asked questions regarding my training with Belinda.

I'm not going to lie I'm really glad it's over it was a little much.  Very emotional and a bit too much in one day with a broken neck.  I'm happy for Belinda, and I hope she enjoys her fitness trip that she was given for all her hard work.  I can't think of anyone more deserving.

Right now at this moment in time, I feel I have one person truly in my corner and that's my therapist. Right now she's the only person I feel expects nothing from me.  I feel like she's the only one who knows how hard what I'm going through is.  The broken neck is nothing, the PTSD is wearing me down.  I feel vunerable, frightened and alone.  So I'm working on my safe place.  I have one, it's just a matter of expanding on what I already have.

So that's my homework from therapy today and what I need to work on til Friday.  I don't want to do anything from now til Friday, no calls, no e-mails, no visitors.  Just rest and time alone to recouperate and recover and come back stronger so hopefully I'll be ready for rehabilitation by 19th.

Just before I sign off, if you should ever read this, thank you %^* (my therapist) for taking me on the way you did when you knew I had completely run out of options.  The easiest thing would have been to walk away.  No-one wanted to help me or had the faith, resources or selflessness to take me on except you.  Thank you.  With all my heart.

I'm not crazy, just special

Donna. Xo