The other side of the run pt 1

Day 13

It's been a wonderfully weird long day today.  I had therapy this morning, second time this week but I am doing really well under the circumstances and understanding more and more of what's happening to me and why.  I don't think I'll be 'cured' or 'healed' any time soon, if at all but I do think I'm on the right track to some sense of freedom from the grasps of CPTSD.  Pain wasn't too bad this morning and after my breakfast cocktail of painkillers I had just a small headache but other than that I don't feel like I have 3 fractures and am running on almost no sleep.  I'm ready to take on the world.

After therapy my partner drove me home (I really hate sitting in the car with the neck brace, it's uncomfortable and I can feel quite ill and dizzy) and I grabbed something to eat. I had put a feeler out earlier to see if someone could get me to park run in the morning in return I would do their volunteer duties for them if needed.  A lovely lady instantly offered me a lift there and even back home so I very gratefully accepted.  While talking to her I checked for any messages.  I couldn't believe when I was asked if I would be interested in writing a guest blog for a mental health advocacy campaign in Canada purely because they had stumbled across (and even read) my accident blog that I had posted to a triathlon site to see if I could inspire someone with my journey and to see if anyone was going through a similar situation that could possibly help guide me a little.

I'm still in a little shock but feel amazing that I was approached because of my ability to express myself.  Not bad for someone who has struggled so much and even hidden away because of the anxiety associated with crowds (even small ones I avoid).

When I posted my first blog on the accident I remember my lift tomorrow to parkrun commenting that it was well written and a few people had said that was a massive compliment.  I didn't think too much of it at the time but I found out today that she happens to be a writer herself and the Vice President of the society of women's writers Victoria 😮, now I'm really nervous thinking perhaps I should bail?  Not to mention that now I have to volunteer as time keeper.  Look if anyone can stuff up a simple task it's me, I have the amazing ability to make something really simple seem complex and almost impossible.  But hey, I won't move forward sitting on my couch counting the hours by.  It's not productive, not for me or anyone around me.

So, that got me thinking you know, what's on the other side of the run?  I can't fathom the amount of unpaid hour upon hours work from volunteers to make these events happen.  All too often, sportsmen and women including running become complacent and quite self absorbed with our own achievements where we forget about those around us.  We tend to leave it to too few to take on the load themselves, rarely offering a helping hand.  So I'm looking forward to taking that next step, away from myself to volunteer and help an event run that otherwise wouldn't without those in the community who are selfless.

I shall report back tomorrow night and let you know what my experience was like and let's hope (given that I have the role of time-keeper) I manage to do it reasonably event free.

Till tomorrow I shall leave you with a note that my son left me (I might add his 10 so I had to forget the expressive language). It read:

Top secret serious crap!

Open the  card and inside it says:-

Everything ends.  But I know you'll keep trying.  Picture is brilliant 👌

Here's a photo of it:-