Hospital Appointment

Day 18

Get to the hospital (Tuesdays appointment was for surgery, not even the right clinic 🤣🤣 so that was cancelled) and I'm here in the green waiting room with about 40 other people.  I can see broken arms in plaster, legs in crutches, others who look normal (if there even is such a thing) but I'm the only one with a neck brace on.  Hopefully they feel really sorry for me and agree to take the damn thing off!  I've really had enough it's giving me the shits, can't shower properly, can't sleep.....I can hear those that know me well sitting there saying and?  What's new?  You weren't showering or sleeping before the accident anyway?  Sad but true my friends, I wasn't doing much of anything then either with the PTSD really taking hold of me.

I'm thinking I may even have to pull the tears trick.  Although I'll probably start laughing.  See, I'm the sort of person that can't force my emotions.  They just flood out whenever they feel like it.  They don't even care where I am or who I'm with.  I reakon it would be awsome to have good control over your emotions, weird but pretty cool at the same time.  I'm working on all these things in therapy.  I'm a little scared to tell the surgeon about the numbness.  I don't want it to take longer to get the brace off.  Surely if I tell them they'll make me leave it on.  Adam wants to come in.  I reackon he wants to make sure I let them know.  I'm figuring his hoping they admit me back in so he can have a rest from me.......I want a break from me too.  Perhaps I should ask them.'

So The Dr in the green Rm 3 calls me in & pulls up my CT & MRI scans.  I politely ask if I may have a look as I don't think it's that bad and I would really like to see where the neck is supposedly broken.  Sure he says as he flicks through the images on the screen.  The C6 was obviously broken but I I'm still not sure what all the fuss is about quite frankly.  He say's "oh look there's the C7", ewww.... I say "where is the rest of the bone", "that's only half of it".  Yes he say's, it's a clean break straight through which is good.  There's the rest over there? WTF?!?!.  GOOD! Are you f%^*+=^ MAD! I'm missing half my bone???

Pulls up the rib, at least the bones were all still actually there but the break was right through.  Nasty looking bastard it is.

I actually can't talk much I'm really in shock and deverstated that this hideous thing has to stay on my head another 3 weeks at least.  That means right up til my Birthday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Today I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for 21 days.......

Donna Xo