Hope you all well (or at least doing way better than me). I haven't written much at all lately, been pretty hectic being in that damn acute psych ward. You honestly think they are going to kill you (and chances are most of them want to & even visualise it). Not saying I'm not mental or don't have problems but that was not the place for me. I'd like to start by thanking a wonderful lady all the way from Perth called Emma, who I've never met but heard my story & wrote the most beautiful card that stays by my bed. She heard about my story through Mara (a wonderful friend with her own battles) and felt compelled to write to me. So thank you Emma, best hospital return present I've ever received. I keep that card by my bed with my little teddy that Tina (a girlfriend) brought in. I didn't have many visitors, hardest part was not being allowed to see my kids for 4 days. Almost killed me, but thanks Tina, for taking the time to sit by my bedside I know that mustn't have been a pretty sight, but you came back. Gem!
It's 12.58am here in Australia I think I'm finding it hard to sleep because I know what's ahead. I have 28 days of hard work. 14 is the commitment at the moment. I've made calendars, reminders, notes, post it notes, notes in my phone. I'll still forget. Just what happens when PTSD rears its ugly head. The biggest thing I'd like to take away from my PARC stay is learning new strategies to keep me well that don't involve exercise and reading up on things such as ARC which I'm booked in for early Jan/Feb, reading trauma focused books, practise my safe place, add as much as I can to my safety plan, meditation through self awareness and as many other things as I can fit into my day.
I'm signing off as I'm hoping to rise in 4 hours for breakfast and a 1km swim. Sleep well.
Donna
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